The day started out innocently enough.
In fact, as I left my apartment, breezing up 75 in zero traffic, I was filled
with the wide-eyed hope and eager expectation all good souls feel around
Christmas time. Little did I know that was all about to change, and that
in one fatal moment all that holiday cheer would be completely overtaken in an
ill-fated battle with modern technology.
Walking into my office cubicle at
exactly 8:15 I found myself with a solid 45 minutes to prepare for my 9:00
meeting. All I needed to do was run an easy report and print a simple
spreadsheet and I would be on my way, and with 45min I was in no rush. I had
plenty of time...
So when 8:35 when my coworker peaked
over the cubical wall and cheerfully inquired if I would like to go grab coffee
from the cafeteria, I happily agreed with the simple caveat that I just needed
to "print something real quick."
Pulling on my coat and grabbing my
coffee cup I clicked print and snapped my laptop shut. But as I was walking out
the door I thought to myself, "Better take one more copy--just in
case." So I turned around reloaded the computer, then the file, then
printed another copy. No problem right?
WRONG!
8:45, I swing through the copy room to
grab those three silly little sheets of paper only to discover that the copier
is currently spitting out what looks like a 1000 sheet job.
"Awh man," I thought to
myself, "I'm caught it in the middle of someone else's job. What on earth
are these crazy people printing anyway!?"
As I picked up the top sheet to
investigate, a wave of horror washed over me. That stupid printer was spitting
out page after page of empty excel columns. Even as I struggled to comprehend
what I had just done, I sprang into action, frantically pressing any button
that looked like it might possibly make it stop, while simultaneously yelling
at it to do just that.
Hearing my distressed cries, another
coworker ran to my aid and also began pressing buttons too, all to no avail. IT JUST KEPT PRINTING.
Looking back, I'm grateful that by this
point, everyone else in the office had left to go get coffee because if you
would have peaked into the copy room in that moment you would have found a girl
in near hysterics flinging open all the printer doors, picturing herself
drowning in a never ending stream of printer paper.
When it finally became clear that none of this
button pressing was working I ran back to desk to try and cancel it from there,
but it was too late. I had been beat--soundly.
At 8:54, with no time left for coffee, I
carted my stack of shame back to my desk and attempted to find the three sheets
that I actually needed, before heading to my 9:00 meeting, utterly defeated.
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