Resolutions

I’ve never really been one to make New Year’s resolutions. Having spent the vast majority of my life as a student, fall and the start of a new academic year always marked the beginning of a new season in my life. January 1^st as an opportunity for “starting new” just never made any sense when I knew that in just a few days I would go back to school and very little, if anything would change.

However, this year I’ve found myself very much looking forward to the New Year. Maybe it’s just a sign that I’m getting old or something, but this year I cannot wait for January 1, the mark of a promising new year full of new adventures and new beginnings. My heart aches for the newness of a new year and in response to that longing, I’ve decided to make some New Year’s resolutions and to share them with y’all so that I will actually stick to it.

SO-- here my resolutions for 2015

1) Read more

I was having dinner with my friend Lauren the other day and she was telling me all about the books (PLURAL) she was reading and I realized that I really missed reading. I used to read all the time. Classics, biographies, romances, sci-fi, mysteries—pretty much anything I could get my hands on.  But then college happened, and the term “recreational reading” was all but lost to me. So in 2015 I’ve decided I’m going to read more and I’m looking for suggestions! Better yet, bring me a copy of your favorite book to borrow. 

2) Have people over more often

Hospitality has really been on my heart lately. It makes me sad that we don’t spend more time in each other’s homes, so in 2015 I’m going to try and have people over at least once a month. So if I invite you over for dinner, please say yes!

3) Stop charging my phone next to the bed

I’ve gotten into this habit of checking my phone last thing before I go to sleep and first thing when I wake up and often any time I wake up during the night. While constantly checking my email --there's really no need for that. Contrary to popular belief, I'm really not that important ;)-- and scrolling through Pinterest for hours may not be such a big deal now in my 20’s, I’m aware that it’s a habit that will stick and I don’t want to be that person who’s always checking email and never really seems present when she’s in her 40’s. This resolution really isn’t so much about spending less time on my phone as it is an intentional reminder that NOW matters. Each morning, when I reach for my glasses or to turn on the light, instead of my phone, I’ll be reminded that that while I can look forward to the future, I can’t neglect the present that will inevitably shape that future.

the time I lost to the printer

The day started out innocently enough. In fact, as I left my apartment, breezing up 75 in zero traffic, I was filled with the wide-eyed hope and eager expectation all good souls feel around Christmas time.  Little did I know that was all about to change, and that in one fatal moment all that holiday cheer would be completely overtaken in an ill-fated battle with modern technology.

Walking into my office cubicle at exactly 8:15 I found myself with a solid 45 minutes to prepare for my 9:00 meeting. All I needed to do was run an easy report and print a simple spreadsheet and I would be on my way, and with 45min I was in no rush. I had plenty of time... 

So when 8:35 when my coworker peaked over the cubical wall and cheerfully inquired if I would like to go grab coffee from the cafeteria, I happily agreed with the simple caveat that I just needed to "print something real quick." 

Pulling on my coat and grabbing my coffee cup I clicked print and snapped my laptop shut. But as I was walking out the door I thought to myself, "Better take one more copy--just in case." So I turned around reloaded the computer, then the file, then printed another copy. No problem right? 

WRONG! 

8:45, I swing through the copy room to grab those three silly little sheets of paper only to discover that the copier is currently spitting out what looks like a 1000 sheet job. 

"Awh man," I thought to myself, "I'm caught it in the middle of someone else's job. What on earth are these crazy people printing anyway!?" 

As I picked up the top sheet to investigate, a wave of horror washed over me. That stupid printer was spitting out page after page of empty excel columns. Even as I struggled to comprehend what I had just done, I sprang into action, frantically pressing any button that looked like it might possibly make it stop, while simultaneously yelling at it to do just that. 

Hearing my distressed cries, another coworker ran to my aid and also began pressing buttons too, all to no avail. IT JUST KEPT PRINTING.

Looking back, I'm grateful that by this point, everyone else in the office had left to go get coffee because if you would have peaked into the copy room in that moment you would have found a girl in near hysterics flinging open all the printer doors, picturing herself drowning in a never ending stream of printer paper. 

When it finally became clear that none of this button pressing was working I ran back to desk to try and cancel it from there, but it was too late. I had been beat--soundly. 

At 8:54, with no time left for coffee, I carted my stack of shame back to my desk and attempted to find the three sheets that I actually needed, before heading to my 9:00 meeting, utterly defeated. 

Making Room

When I was getting ready to head home for Thanksgiving this year, I was keenly aware that unlike the times when I’d go home over college breaks, this year I would be returning not to my house, but my parent’s house.  I’d been back to visit my parents before, but at the time, they were in the middle of remodeling the kitchen so we didn’t actually stay IN the house. And, since I took the bed and all the other “Alena” things from my room with me when I moved, my mom decided it was time to repaint my bright green and yellow room a very relaxing, but very un-Alena grey and convert what once was my room into the guest room.  So as I drove, I tried to prepare my heart for what it would be like to not have a place of my own in the house I grew up in. 

However, when I got home, after the multiple rounds of hugs and kisses, my mother pointed me, not to my brother’s room as I had expected, but to the old guestroom where she had (in her words) “made me a little nest” complete with floral pillow.

We’re currently right in the middle of Advent, the four weeks leading up to Christmas and the first season of the Christian church year. Advent means coming. Coming--as in due to happen or just beginning, an arrival or an approach. While I doubt I was ever explicitly taught it, somehow through all my years growing up in church “Advent means waiting” had been burned into my mind. Not coming. Waiting--as in the action of staying where you are or delaying action until a particular time or until something else happens.

If you know me at all you know that patience is not my strongest suit, so to me Advent, this season of “waiting” always seemed a little silly.  But this year, when I heard this familiar phrase “Advent means coming” I finally started to understand what this season is really all about.

You see, Advent isn’t really about waiting at all, it’s about preparation. In the same way my dear, sweet momma prepared a place for me to come home to, we are to use this season to prepare for the coming of Christ.  My mom could have sat by the front door waiting for my brother and me to show up, but instead she went to work making sure that I would still feel welcome and loved, something that required action on her part. (That awesome floral pillow did not magically show up at my house y’all.)

During Advent there tends to be a lot of discussion about slowing down and “making room for Jesus”. Maybe that’s you. Maybe you’re finding yourself feeling drained and overwhelmed, the chaos of your life amplified by the added activity of the holiday season. Maybe for you, your preparation is slowing down. Taking time to rest so that you can enjoy time with the one who has come to dwell among men.

But then maybe you’re like me and have wrongly associated patience with passivity. I don’t know about you, but I find myself waiting for a lot of things right now. As I mentioned before patience is not my strong suit and so this season of my life has been particularly frustrating. It’s so tempting in seasons of waiting to sit back and pout and do nothing. …except maybe complain or throw a fit, until we get what we want (or think we want). 

But what God’s been teaching me is that waiting, that patience, is NOT a passive act! Being told to wait isn’t always a timeout, but often an invitation to engage and be present where we are. Our waiting should be charged with intention and eager expectation. The eagerness of a mother waiting to welcome home her children, the anticipation of a child on Christmas Eve.