Before Christmas I mentioned that I’ve been waiting on a lot
of things… but really, I've just been waiting on one thing.
For months I prayed and prayed and prayed that God would
give me this thing that I desired so desperately and guess what? —He
didn’t—and my heart was absolutely crushed.
Here’s the thing about a broken heart…
Your heart holds all your emotions safe and sound, like a
cute little cup. When your heart breaks, all those emotions come tumbling out
all at once in one confusing jumbled mess. Anger, fear, despair, sadness, perhaps
a brief glimmer of happiness or a gentle nudge of hope—you feel them ALL at
once as your heart is shattered into a million tiny pieces.
(For someone who prides herself in being a highly emotionally stable person, suffering from a broken heart was particularly unsettling and incredibly stressful.)
(For someone who prides herself in being a highly emotionally stable person, suffering from a broken heart was particularly unsettling and incredibly stressful.)
I don’t know why your heart may be breaking. Maybe you didn’t
get the job you wanted, or maybe you just lost the one you loved. Maybe you’ve
been betrayed by someone you trusted. Maybe you’ve witnessed an important relationship
come to end. Maybe this was the first round of holiday’s you had to spend
without a loved one. Maybe Kroger doesn't carry your favorite kind of ice cream anymore, I don’t know! Whatever
the reason, here’s something else you need to know about a broken heart…
Take care that you don’t get lost among the pieces.
When your heart is broken it is SO easy to get trapped in a pit of self-pity. I’m
not saying that you shouldn't grieve. No, no! By all means, take time to weep,
to morn for your dashed hopes and ruined dreams, but don’t get so lost in your
own heartache that you can’t see others who are also hurting or how God is
working all around you.
When you’re hurting, when your heart is so open and raw that
even the littlest things can cause stinging pain, it’s so tempting to try and
work things out on your own, to barricade your heart and refuse to let anyone near
you. Don’t do that! Community is
important in all seasons of life, but particularly so in times of heartbreak. I’ve
come to discover that while it can hurt to hear how God is working in someone
else’s life when it feels like he’s all but completely forsaken you, it’s a good,
healing-kind of hurt and serves as an important reminder that he is still in
fact working.
Now I realize that the source of your broken heart may very well be the result of feeling that you don't have anyone to turn to in this moment. Maybe you've just moved to a new city and don't know anyone. Maybe the people or person you thought cared about you the most is no longer in your life for whatever reason. My prayer for you, is that you would be brave and bold and begin the slow, often awkward and occasionally frustrating process, of plugging into a community. I pray that this year welcomes you into a place where you feel a sense of deep belonging, a place where you know you are both wanted and needed.
Now I realize that the source of your broken heart may very well be the result of feeling that you don't have anyone to turn to in this moment. Maybe you've just moved to a new city and don't know anyone. Maybe the people or person you thought cared about you the most is no longer in your life for whatever reason. My prayer for you, is that you would be brave and bold and begin the slow, often awkward and occasionally frustrating process, of plugging into a community. I pray that this year welcomes you into a place where you feel a sense of deep belonging, a place where you know you are both wanted and needed.
And if you were one of the those dear people who bore witness to my
heartbreak (and consequent near complete emotional breakdown) —and you know who
you are—thank you for sticking with me and helping me sweep up the pieces. You
da the best!