Nobody likes to be called out for the sin in their lives.
Fact is, if sinning wasn’t fun or didn’t have some sort of short term benefit
none of us would sin in the first place, because that how humans are wired—to amplify
the good, decrease the bad. That’s just science.
But here’s the flip side to that. Most of the time, like 99%
of the time, when I’ve find myself successfully avoiding sin, I’m also mentally
counting up my “Jesus points”.
“Didn’t cuss out the guy to took my parking spot. POINT.”
“Held my tongue, even
though the gossip about Gertrude was SOOOO juicy. POINT.”
But it’s when I’m being “good” (Oh man I earned so many
stars for my crown this week!) that the feeling of discontentment hits me the
hardest. In these moments I often find myself angry that I haven’t been
rewarded for my angelic behavior. As much as I might like it to be, being a
Christian isn’t like going to Chuck E. Cheese's. Play all you want, just be sure
you earn enough tickets along the way to cash in for the prize at the end! God
doesn’t work that way.
Neither is God some sort of cosmic vending machine. Insert
30 hours of volunteer service, 2 spiritual retreats, and a check into the
offering plate and you’ll get what you want! God never promises that if we do
all the right things we’ll get everything we ask Him for.
When life gets crazy, when I’m not getting what I want and I’m
just spiritually famished, I never can understand why so often my first
reaction is to head to the vending machine. So often I find myself standing in
front of the glass scrambling to find some spare change to buy a tiny bag of Cheetos
when Christ has invited me to the biggest dinner party ever. Metaphorically He’s
got a mile long salad bar, a literal boat load of brisket, an all you can eat
pasta bar, and Ritter’s Frozen Custard in
the Cheeto factory, and I’m angry that I can’t buy a stupid bag a Cheetos!
There may not be some divine vending machine at our
disposal, but there is a God who’s willing to enter into a relationship with
us, a relationship where He listens and knows the deepest desires of our feeble
fragile human hearts, even those that we’re afraid to admit even to ourselves. What’s
more, God not only knows our hearts, but He has our best interests in mind. He
knows that what we want, isn’t always what we need or even really want.
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”-- Psalm 37:4
See here’s the thing. When we stop trying to buy things from
God with our "goodness" and start to truly live in a relationship with Him,
delight in Him, our desires are transformed to His and He desires the very best
for us.