Houston Drivers

This summer I have the opportunity to work as the marketing and development intern for MBF. MBF is a nonprofit that helps build sustainable, faith based medical care around the world.  I’m really enjoying the work and it’s been a great experience. What’s not so great is that like most other grown up jobs, I also have a grown up commute.

Guys, Houston traffic is THE worst. ---ok maybe not THE worst, but definitely the 4^th worst.  I’ve been making my commute for a good while now and one thing that I’ve noticed is that no matter what, no matter when, you will always be able to find these 10 people on the road. (Finding them is a strange cross between Frogger and Where’s Waldo—you don’t always see them, but you have to be careful you don’t get hit.)

So without any further ado, I present 10 Houston Drivers You Are Guaranteed to Find on Your Commute: 

1. NSCAR Nick—Nice car. Too bad this is the beltway and not the speedway.

2. Wanna- be- NSCAR- Nick—Drives like our friend Nick, but without the sweet ride. Stop.  You’re not cool either.

3. Gypsy Joe—has his vehicle stacked so high and so wide with so much stuff that you’re unsure whether to marvel in awe at this incredible feat of Tetris, or cower for fear that the precariously perched tower will tumble down in an avalanche of mismatched merchandise.

4. Left Lane Larry—ALWAYS drives in the left lane. No. Matter. What.  --Never mind that he’s driving 55 in a 65 (that’s 75 in Houston digits) and everyone is being forced to pass on the right, he refuses to budge.  Sir, while you may think it’s time for a Sunday drive, it’s Monday morning and the rest of us have to get to work.

5. Jacked up Jim—obviously compensating for something. There’s absolutely no legitimate reason for a truck that big.

6. Clueless Carl—Doesn’t see you because he’s busy yackin’ on the phone or taking selfies.  STOP. 

7. Tailgating Tom—WE ARE SITTING IN WALL TO WALL TRAFFIC. It is physically impossible for me to ANY faster. Back off and give a girl some space.  The fire will just have to wait.

8. Last Minute Mike—Backs across four lanes of traffic to make his exit. STOP! This is how people die!

9. Weaving Walter—finds it impossible to stay in his lane for more than 10 seconds. In the words of Tracy “Stay on your side!”

10. The Foreigner—Anyone not from Houston. Still believes in the power of turn signals, possesses the ability to yield and clings to the hope that there will actually be road signs to direct you to the places you want to go.

{First Time in Houston Traffic}